Letting You In...

I will admit, I am the world's greatest procrastinator sometimes. You can ask my family...
Age 10: Amber did you do your math homework? "Um. No... I don't have to do that until tomorrow..."
Age 16: Amber, have you gotten your driver's license yet? "Actually, I just renewed my learner's permit! Maybe sometime this year..."
Age 18: Amber, if you don't turn in your homework for statistics, you are going to fail the class... "OK... I will get it done..." (I'll have you know, I slept through this class. I made an A after I did the homework...)
Age 21: To myself, Self, are you ever going to lose this weight? "Maybe after the new year... that way, I can say that I kept a resolution!"
Age 22: "I have to lose weight."

My point? I started this diet 2 weeks ago... I should have started a blog 2 weeks ago. So why did I finally start this diet? My husband, James, and I decided that it is time for us to get healthy--to lose the extra weight. We made a deal to lose 100 pounds each within the next year, and guys, let me tell you, we are well on our way! When I stepped on the scale on the afternoon of Thursday, July 14th, I weighed a whopping 279.8 pounds.

GASP! You, a woman, just admitted your weight... it is now out there in cyber space! The whole world can see it!


Let them see it! I hope you ALL see it! I am not ashamed, in the least bit, about a number that pops up on a scale. When I was at 245 pounds, I was more confident and beautiful than I think I ever have been. I am a firm believer that a size 2 doesn't equate to beauty, and I refuse to be defined by a number. I believe that a size 14 is just as gorgeous than a size 4--if the heart is as beautiful as the face. And I also believe that the "number obsession" is what is wrong with our culture. Do you know how often I was denied friendship or even human decency because of my weight? Welcome to my life--from 2nd to 6th grade. I made friends, but in all of my life, I have never been "in crowd" material. I don't care anything about labels, and I don't feel naked without make-up on... I wished that I COULD be in the band in high school! Those people were talented! So instead of popularity, I gained a unique sense of humor and made my way through my high school life as the "nice, smart choir girl". That's a reputation that I can be proud of--I owned it!

When I was in high school, I was a size 24 by 11th grade. I was absolutely miserable at this size! I have no idea what I weighed... and I think I am glad that I never will. When I got my first job, I worked my butt off... and before I knew it, my pants were huge on me! I had no idea what size I was any more--I just knew that I looked better than I ever had! When I finally went to start my new wardrobe, I tried on pants for quite awhile before trying on a size 17 that fit just right. My tummy had some definition, and MAN, I had muscles! I traded in my second chin for a slightly more seamly neckline... I was happy! I got down to a size 16, in some brands.

I left my first job when I moved to Knoxville, and I stuck to a size 18 until a year or so after I moved back home to Chattanooga. Working at Chick-fil-A one night during a slam-packed spirit night, I was running the production area of one of the largest hours I have EVER done by myself, and in the middle of it, I slipped and caught myself on the counter. I got right back up and kept on going. I guess that I was in some sort of shock, because after the adrenaline wore off and I slowed down, I discovered soreness unlike anything I had ever felt in my life. I had pulled every muscle from my right shoulder all the way down to my lower back. The pain became unbearable. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't stand or sit... I couldn't do anything normal in comfort. The doctor put me on steroids that made me mean and other meds... and nothing helped. I suspect that this is when a lot of the weight started to pack on. I am back into a big size 20 or a 22.

James and I started the 17-Day Diet 2 weeks ago tomorrow. This diet is comprised of 4 separate cycles, designed to keep your metabolism guessing. We are, of course, on the first cycle, and we have watched some of the weight just melt off. James has already lost 22 pounds! I am guessing that my starting weight would have been around 275, because the first time I weighed was in the afternoon, when it should have been when right after I go to the bathroom after awakening. This morning, I weighed in at 259.8! I was ecstatic! That's just about 16 pounds in 2 weeks!

I have had a lot of people asking me about the diet, so as I approach each cycle, I will explain it, so that I don't "info overload" you right at the start. This first cycle, James and I have cut out basically all processed carbohydrates. We have been eating liberal amounts of protein in the form of chicken and some specific kinds of seafood, not including shellfish (and no red meat); we have a list of veggies that we are allowed to have, such as broccoli, carrots, cauliflower (called "cleansing vegetables"--higher fiber veggies), and we are allowed to have 2 servings of low-sugar fruit and 2 servings of probiotics (yogurt, cottage cheese) daily. We are also asked to cut out sodas and fruit juice--anything but water and tea (without processed sugar). This has been a challenge--I am pretty sure that I was having carb withdrawals the first 2 days! It was ridiculous! I felt weak and lightheaded... really, it was just because I wasn't eating something every 4 hours. I started replacing an afternoon drink break with a yogurt cup and felt a million times better!

Not only is this worth doing for the weight loss--until you cut out all of the crap and make a commitment to taking care of your body, you have no idea what kind of energy you will have. I traded in my groggy, negative energy for an excited, alert energy that I don't remember ever having before! I started waking up after I had enough sleep without my alarm, and 16 hours later, I was ready to hit the sack. This kind of change almost ingrained a routine into me--it almost demands a routine of me! I don't want to stay up all night and watch tv anymore--my body spends energy as it is given the resources to do so, and it winds down like it's supposed to! Insomnia is a thing of my pizza-inhabited past!

So why am I telling you all of this? Well, for selfish reasons, we all need accountability. That's why I am so glad to do this with my husband--we are a support system for one another, and it works. Another reason is that I have friends that are truly interested in what I am doing, either because they are interested in doing it themselves or because they are just paying attention to my life happenings. For those that want to try it, I want to support you and guide you and hold YOU accountable. I want to set an example for those that have never wanted to diet or never thought they could--that is the most important part to me! And let me tell you, an example is not set by letting you in on all of my triumphs and leaving out the rest. No, I will admit when I ate a piece of one of my sister-in-law's mouthwatering cakes (like I did last weekend... oops) or when I have any kind of temptation. I am human, and so are you--we all make bad decisions and take a wrong turn or two. When you can admit it, you can fix it.

So I will end my first of many blogs to come with a few questions for all of my readers--answer by comment or simply ponder it to yourself, if you wish. If you could be any famous person in the world (from history or from the present), who would it be and why? Does your decision have anything to do with they way they look, dress, or act? Does the decision have something to do with a certain measure of talent or popularity? Based upon your decision, can you address an area of insecurity within yourself?

My answer? Idina Menzel. I have always loved her--she is a broadway star, cast as leading roles in Wicked and Rent. I think a kind of hidden desire of mine has always been to be on Broadway--but I always thought of myself as "too fat" or "not talented enough". I think that Idina is gorgeous, and she has an energy that I almost envy!